Letting Go...!!

All want a life of riches n' fame

well can't blame me if I wanted the same
I was tired of being ignored
of my life I was sick n' bored

my sense of rejection mounted every day........

Then I realized...........
it was me who strayed
From the path that he laid
that is why m always afraid
n' every decision wrong I made

Should I have asked? now I feel...
for his permission...? his seal
to close any deal
whether virtual or real

His divine intervention is what I need
his word is the right seed
in line with his word I need to be
then of this confusion I'll b set free

I led a life the way I wanted
n' my every single wish he granted
cuz he is loving n' patient always
he lets u experience, but with U he always stays

He was always present in my life
I just dint seem to realize
I did not trust
though I was told I must

His way of life was just too hard
I dint know he'd be there to love n' guard
he would never let me fight alone
I had to just start, the rest he would have borne

He told me many a time
but his love for me I undermined 
but it dint take an Einstein
to realize with him in my life all would be fine

I accused him for all my sorrow
when it came to prayers I'd keep it for the morrow
I cud say my pain was self inflicted
my knowledge about his presence was restricted

I went to many a retreat
but my actual problem none could treat
I had a million questions unanswered
but not a single answer I heard

I searched for them in the outer world
but dint realize the answers within me swirled
my train of thought was very wrong
my disbelief was pretty strong

I never shared a strong bond
I could never reach the bottom of the pond
I would be disturbed , I would be just fine
but peace was never to be mine

I have now reached a fork in the road
it's my choice if I wanna carry this load
m thinking I'll do what I should have done long ago
I'll give him full reign of my life n' doubt no more

Liz

Writ - Sept 2009